Walking into fitness environments is tricky territory for a fat person. Most of us are definitely there to be less fat. I understand this. But, there are a growing number of us there who aren’t trying to “lose weight” or “get skinnier”. I am one of those people.
I adore weight lifting. I love a good cardio session. Up until recently I went to a personal trainer twice a week and lifted weights, ran, stretched, did burpies…you name it, I did it. But, not to lose weight; to gain muscle and endurance.
But, sadly that just isn’t enough for a lot of people. I am repeatedly encouraged to join this fitness class or that workout regimen or another diet, often by “well-meaning” people who see my body and assume I’m miserable and I want to change it.
How do I say this without being rude…
You’re projecting your own insecurities onto me.
Yeah. Really. This is 100% a YOU problem.
I understand that doing THIS:
would terrify you. That’s me, existing in my fat body, being photographed in the nude.
This right here probably scares you too:
More of me. Being fat. Just sitting around in a chair. Existing.
Your fixation on my body isn’t about me.
It’s about you.
Oh yes, I’m calling you out here. If you’ve ever been one of those pesky types that repeatedly gives out exercise and diet advise to fat folks, then I am very much calling you out.
This is about your own relationship with your body. This is about you.
When you see me existing in my fat body, you cannot help but assume I feel terribly about my body. You make this assumption because you already know that you would feel terrible if this was your body.
And who can blame you? I can’t. I used to be you. Society has brainwashed us with outdated science, skewed studies, and flat out bullshit about how bodies work for our entire lives.
You know why you hate your own body and by extension fear mine?
Because you’ve been programmed to do so. You’re doing exactly as you’ve been trained to do. But guess what? You have a choice here. You can actually choose to open your eyes and open your mind and close your damn mouth.
Stop projecting your insecurities onto fat people. A lot of us are doing just fine. And if we aren’t, we’ll tell you. But, only when we know we can trust you. And by constantly hounding us with the latest weight loss product, fad exercise, or gym membership, you’re depleting our trust in you, little by little. You’re showing where your critical thought limits are.
Your obsession with my body, the way you talk about my body when I’m not around, ALL of this is, and always will be, about you and your insecurities.
Until you can do THIS
you are not equipped to have these conversations with me.
Have the guts, the balls, or the courage to love yourself and live your truth authentically FIRST, and then maybe we can have some conversations about our bodies.
Until then, just let me be fat.
Because guess what? I’m gonna do it anyways.
And I’m going to be just fine.